Death Wartz
by SMRTCookie
Summary: Why does L never go outside? Could it be owls? When Matsuda leaves a window open it ends up in L and Light heading to Hogwarts. Who will they meet? What about Kira? Crack DN HP crossover. Co-Written with WickedFury
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Co-written with WickedFury, she's awesomness. Crack. From the stupidity of our minds. Enjoy! R&R**

It was a nice, warm, sunny day, so Matsuda decided to open a window to let the breeze in. L could use some fresh air anyway. He never thought there was a **ACTUAL** reason they were closed in the first place. Returning to "work" he forgot about the window. A few hours later a light flapping sound filled the air, what the heck? Turning back to the window his eyes widened, right before a large flock of owls flew in at once, knocking the poor man off his seat. Matsuda did the only thing he could, he screamed... like a girl. Running out of the office and into the main foyer where the rest of the investigation team was located.

"What the hell Matsuda?" Cheif Yagami yelled. L looked up just as the owls flooded in behind Matsuda.  
The owls started throwing letters, before perching anywhere they could find. By now Light was screaming (like a girl), and L's eye was twitching. He took a deep breath before "You idiot Matsuda!" Flipping out his cell phone in that odd fashion of his he pressed the number one speed dial.  
"Watari, the owls got in." He nodded, though Watari couln't see it "Yes, Thank you." Hanging up. The owls had stopped dropping letters and Light had stopped screaming. The floor was covered with letters, and owl poop.

"What are these?" Light asked, picking one up.  
"It say's "Ryuzaki, Kira Investigation HQ, Main foyer" Who the hell would know that"  
Matsuda looked scared "Maybe it's Kira!" He yelled "No Matsuda, it's not Kira, it's Hogwarts." Blank stares. L waved his hand dismissivly "Read it." So Light hastily ripped the envelope open and read aloud.  
"Dear mister Ryuzaki you have been accepted into Hogwarts school of witch craft and wizardry.  
We hope you will consider enrolling as it would be a shame to waste your is a list of required school supplies. We await you reply." Light blinked. "What the hell kind of joke is this?" L shrugged.

The large doors to the spacious HQ burst open, revealing Watari garbed in his usuall atire,  
weilding a butterfly net. What. The. Hell. "Master Ryuzaki, maybe you should just hear their request. This has been going on for nine years, it has to stop, and I don't think they're going to stop it first." He sighed "I'll get to work." Raising the butterfly net Watari set about catching the owls.  
L looked thoughtfull for a second then "Yes, I shall accept, magic could prove a usefull weapon against Kira." He murmured "R-ryuzaki! You can't be serious! What about this?" Light held up his handcuffed wrist to get his point across.  
"Light-kun shall accompany me, of course." L replied calmly.  
"Wh-what!?" L looked to Light "You heard me."

**Three weeks later**

L walked towards the pub he'd be instructed to go into, the worn sign declaring "The Leaky Cauldron.  
"Where are you going Ryuzaki?" Light asked being pulled towards a empty lot on the busy street.  
"Into the pub." L replied "What pub?" Light was confused.  
Before L stuck out his hand, pushing open a invisible (to Light anyway) door.  
Stepping forward and dragging Light with him into the building. Light blinked as a dusty room materialized out of thin air around him.  
"This pub Light-kun." Walking towards the bar where a man who was missing most of his teeth stood cleaning a glass.  
"Are you Tom?" L asked noting disgustedly that the cloth the man was using to clean the glass was dirty.  
"Yeah, Diagon Alley for you then?" Tom's gaze was on the chain conecting the two men, what the hell kind of wizard used handcuffs? L nodded and Light just stood there with a WTF? expression on his face as they followed the man out another door into a dead-end alley way and he started tapping bricks with a stick.  
L watching intently, no doubt memorizing the sequence the man tapped the bricks in for later refrence.

One brick suddenly popped out, causing Light to almost scream, almost. Then others followed, sliding back and forth until a path was cleared. Light sighed, not only was he chained to a detective, but he was chained to a wizard aswell. Who the hell came up with this stuff?

"Well there you go lads, I'll be off now." Tom waved them off merrily.  
Light took a deep breath, he could do this.  
The alley was filled with people dressed in bright colors and odd robes, chatting animatedly to one another.  
Stores lined the path with displays of floating gadjets and whooting owls, leading up to a large white building.

"So what do you need here?" Light asked and L looked down a the paper in his hands "Two sets of robes, standard sized cauldron, dragon skin gloves, a wand, some books, and I can get a pet if I want"  
"Dragon skin?" L nodded "That's what it says."

One hour of goblin money exchanging and tedious shopping later. (I.e too lazy to write all of that.)

"How was I supposed to know the book would bite you?" Light was holding his hand, he had tried to be nice and pick up a book on monsters for L, and the thing had bitten him! He was sick of this place already, and they still needed robes, a wand, and if L wanted, a pet. Joy. (Note the sarcasm)  
Coming up to the store that claimed to be selling wands scince some odd number B.C Light sighed, how was L going to choose a stick? The door opened with a faint jingle and a old man appeared.

"Ah, yes you'd be here to buy wands then?" He asked, silver eyes shimmering "Just one." L corrected "Okay, okay, Hold out your wand arm please." Assuming he meant his dominate arm L held up his right, he was ambidextorus anyway. A tape measure floated out of it's own accord and stretched the length of his arm, before moving to take other measurements. The old guy just left without a word, opening a long box in the back and dragging out a long, red wand.  
"Try this, just give it a wave." He added at the confused look L had given him. Doing as told L winced as the shelf closest to him broke apart, dropping boxes all over the floor.  
"No, not that one." Quickly leaving and returning with another,  
"Same thing, try this one"  
This time the window behind them shattered. Light stared, half amused, half scared, could those things cause humans to explode too? Shaking his head to rid him of that thought Light looked back towards the man, who'd returned once again, with a white and black wand this time, silently handing it to L. Light could have sworn the man was amused.  
Was everyone here but him crazy? Taking the wand and giving it a flick L was surprised when nothing exploded, but a over dramatic light lit the room and wind blew from nowhere. How cheesy.  
"Thats the one! Made from ivory and lawson's cypress, light and very durable, with a dual core of a dragon heartstring and unicorn hair, it's the-" "How much does it cost?" L interupted, as long as it worked it didn't matter what it was made of.  
"Six galleons" The man mumbled, visibly upset at being interupted, Light guessed that didn't happen often.

L was just making tons of friends today. Not. He had pissed off every store owner they had met, and was now proceding to piss off some robe making lady, refusing to take off the chain so she could fit his robes. Light mentaly snickered at the thought of L wearing a dress.  
"I don't care if they're baggy! I just need some robes!" The lady shook her head "Fine. No refunds if they don't fit." And stalked off.  
They weren't the only ones in the store, there were younger kids staring at the strange duo, one coming up to talk with them. Blonde hair slicked back and a concieted smirk on his face.  
"Whats with the chain?" Light answered before L could even open his mouth, he didn't like this kid.  
"So that I can't go kill people while he's not looking." It came out smoothly, it was the partial truth anyway.  
The kids eyes widened, "Kill people?" L spoke first this time "Yes, kill people, he is suspected of being a mass murderer, killing thousands of men already." Light smiled,  
either L was poking fun with him, or he was trying to divulge as little as possible. Either way the look on the kids face was priceless.  
"Oh. Um, okay. Anyway, what are you doing getting robes? Are you a teacher?" Change the subject, good move.  
"No, I am going to Hogwarts as a student." L popped a chocolate from his pocket in his mouth.  
"Aren't you too old? You look like you're twenty or something!" L nodded "But owls won't stop harassing me, and it may help me catch the mass murderer I'm after, the guy I'm chained to is the prime suspect, but there are others as well." THe blonde boy nodded.  
"Well I'm Malfoy, my friends over there are Gregory and Goyle. Best be in Slytherin it could be handy having you around." Malfoy held out his hand "Ryuzaki." L said taking the offered hand.  
The flustered lady returned with Ls robes and taking the payment scurried off.

"Well Light-kun I think I will get a pet." Light looked shocked "You? A pet? Why?" L smiled his trademark smile, "Companionship Light-kun, you don't offer much other than "I'm not Kira!" and the occasional fight." Was that a insult?  
Light decided that it was.

**A/N:**

**SMRTCookie: WickedFury's eating dinner right now so I'm all alone.(cause she's polite and doesn't wanna talk with her mouth full)This was spurred on by a phone conversation (Yes we're THAT crazy). Well scince I'm alone let's call in L and Light!**

**Light: No.**

**SMRTCookie: Dang**

**L: I want a cookie...**

**Matsuda: THE OWLS!**

**WTF.**

**WILL L GET A PET? WILL LIGHT SURVIVE? WHO IS BOB? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! YAY! (Maybe not the Bob thing)**


	2. Strawberry

**A/N: I'm back! Yes and so is our intrepid duo in the wizarding world! Thanks to eveyone who reveiwed!  
Well warnings for this chapter are extreme crack and use of chicken-lizards. On with the show!**

**Death Wartz**

**________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

The store they had just walked into was packed with creatures of every shape, color, and size. Owls whooted happily (or angrilly depending on the owl), giving Light a sense of deja vu, L had better not want a owl after what happened at headquarters. Besides the owls the shop had cages upon cages of other animals, half of which Light couldn't recognize as anything he'd seen before. Thankfully, being as they were the only customers in the store the store keep decided to come chat with them.

"Looking for anything specific young sirs?" He asked happily, always be nice to potential customers.  
"No, I am just looking for a pet to take with me to Hogwarts, but am not intrested in a owl, toad, rat, or cat." L stated nonchalantly

"Perhaps I should show you some of our most intresting then?" More like most expensive Light thought but kept it to himself. L nodded.  
"Yes, that would be a great help."

Following the man to one of the first cages on their right Light had to blink to make sure what he was seeing was real,  
in the cage was what appeared to be a chicken/lizard hybrid, long scaly body supported on two chicken-like legs,  
with feathers jutting out in tuffs at seemingly random places. Two wings sprouted from it's back flapping about as it justled around the small enclosure.

"This," The store keep started, "is a cockatrice, believed by muggles in medival times to be able to kill a person by looking, touching, or even breathing on them, of course this isn't true it is but a simple species accidentily created in medival times by a unlucky wizard who sneezed while casting a spell." He finished with a laugh. The thing was still too creepy for Light though, and knowing his luck it would wake them every morning like the half-rooster it was. L, seemingly sharing his thoughts on the thing, shook his head.

"Intresting, but I don't think so." The store keep didn't look disheartned in the least, instead he moved on to another cage close by. Light's eye's widened, the bottom of the cage was kept on fire, seemingly by magic (he wouldn't be surprised.) Inside was a four-legged insect like thing with filmy wings and a head like a dragons.  
"This is a pyrausta, it lives in the fire and will die without it. Only a few have ever been caught, but it was enough to breed them. They do not eat anything and require no care but a maintnence of the fire they live in." L leaned in to get a closer look, thumb at his mouth "Fascinating, but it may prove a hazard at a school, I doubt the headmaster would appreciate me burning Hogwarts down"  
"I suppose so, something less fiery then."

Moving on to another cage Light sighed this one was almost sure to be crazier than the last. He was surprised when they came to a singing bird, it's feathers were various metallic shades with a matching long vibrant tail.  
"Now this, this is a very special bird, known as the Ardarna bird. It's singing is believed to cure any affliction,  
after each song it's feathers change hues and it sleeps with it's eye wide open. The bird is a harmless creature,  
exept for it's bodily waste tends to paralyze if touched, but thats fairly avoidable,  
and it eats just about anything thrown it's way. This one also happens to be trained to deliver letters, just like any standard owl." The guys face broke into a even bigger grin when he saw that L liked the bird, afforementioned detective leaning in as close as he could to examine it.

"How much?" He asked suddenly looking back up. Light was glad it wasn't him paying for the dang thing,  
from the guys smile he had a hunch it would bankrupt him, L on the other hand was loaded, limo's and mountians of sweets to prove it. And L just so happened to have exchanged a large sum of money for the wizarding worlds currency from those creepy little goblin things at the bank.  
"Heh, well, it being so rare and all, 78 galleons, 12 sickles, 6 knuts." Light's jaw almost hit the floor.  
L, on the other hand didn't even flinch, pulling out a the large bag he kept his money in he akwardly counted out all of the needed currency dropping it on the counter beside him and the store keep picked the cage up carefully,  
smiling like a kid on Christmas.

"That should be it." L noted tossing the last knut into the rather large pile.  
Taking the bird happily and thanking the man. The man could probally would have started to do a happy dance if they didn't get out of here quick. Light turned to L as they exited the shop, wincing as a loud "WOOOOO HOOOOOO!" split through the air. Quickly recovering Light asked

"What are you going to name it?" L stopped "I don't know." L looked down to the bird cooing happily from the cage in his arms.  
L looked quite akward at the moment; his wand stuffed hastilly into his front pocket, robes dangling over his shoulder, along with a bag full of books, now carrying a bird cage.

"What should I name you?" He asked as if the bird could answer back.  
"You should name it something you like Ryuzaki, something you won't forget." L looked thoughtfull "Hmm, I like strawberries, I won't forget that so," He looked back at the bird "How about Strawberry?" The bird let out another bright tune and L nodded.  
"Strawberry it is then." Light stared, shaking his head

"That's not what I meant." He sighed

"Hey watch it Potter!" Light blinked over to were the blonde boy from earlier was yelling at some black haired kid along with two other kids, a girl with brown bushy hair and a ginger haired lanky boy. "Watch yourself Malfoy!" The red head yelled back. Malfoy looked back towards were L and Light stood and suddenly smirked.  
"Hey Ryuzaki! Mass murderer man! Why don't you come meet some of your new peers!" L blinked, but started walking towards the commotion, effectively dragging Light with him.

"Hello" He greeted politely as Light stumbled up beside him.  
"Give me some warning next time!" Light yelled recovering from his moment of ungracefulness. L simply nodded. Light looked at the cause of his discomfort (No not L, the BLONDE one) and asked "What do you want?" Malfoy looked scared for a split second, who wouldn't when a suspected mass murder was yelling at you a few feet away? "Who the bloody hell are you?" The red head interupted.  
Malfoy's look of fear was replaced with a snide smirk

"This Ronald Weasly, is Ryuzaki, and the man he's chained to is a suspected mass murderer, "killing _thousands_ of men already" was it?" The ginger kid paled

"Mass murderer?" Light sighed in irritation.  
"Yes, mass murderer. My name's Light by the way." He stated, though no-one cared pass the "mass murderer" part.  
"Well just because he's suspected doesn't mean he really is. My names Harry, this is Ron and Hermione"  
The black haired boy stated calmly. Did he perhaps know any "innocent" mass murderers? (*cough*Black*cough*)

Light looked at Harry and grinned, manically. Efficiently scaring away any good thought the teens around him could have had.  
"He's like a dementor" Ron whispered to Hermione "Did you just call me demented?" Light raged scaring the poor boy even more when he took a threatining step forward.  
"N-no! I didn't I swear!" L took this moment to interfere "Any violent actions towards the students of the school will result in the percentage being raised Light-kun"  
He warned. That immediatly snapped Light out of it and, huffing slightly, he took a step back again. The metioned studends staring blankly, what percentage?

"So what are you doing with school supplies Mister Ryuuzaki?" The bushy haired one, Hermione asked

"Just Ryuzaki is fine. I'm going to Hogwarts as a student. For nine years owls have stalked me wherever I go, so I decided to come and see if anything taught there can aid me in catching the mass murderers I'm after"  
He stated looking quite bored.  
"As a student? You're too old!" Weasly yelled L simply shrugged.  
"Well as long as you're not in Slytherin I guess you're okay." He added as a afterthought "What's wrong with Slytherin?" Light questioned, what the hell was Slytherin is what he should have asked, but he didn't want to seem too clueless. Even though he was, it just wasn't godly. Wait what?

"It's the worst house in Hogwarts, churns out more dark wizards than any other to boot." Ron stated like it was the most obvious thing ever.  
"Actually It's the best house," Malfoy argued "only accepts pure-bloods, with few exeptions, the most powerful wizards come out of Slytherin."

A long debate ensued

"But the evilness out weighs the pure-bloodness!" Ron yelled, ignoring the fact pure-bloodness was not a real word.  
"But the power out weighs the evilness!" one of Malfoy's goons yelled back. Goyle, was it?  
"But You-Know-Who came out of Slytherin! That just proves how evil it is!" Light's ears perked up He didn't know who. Who was You-Know-Who?  
"Who's You-Know-Who?" Ignoring how stupid that sounded out loud. He was curious "The Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, The-" Ron was cut of by Harry simply stating

"His name is Voldemort." Ron screeched, reminding Light all too much of those damned owls.

"You said his name! You said He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's name!" Ron said, stateing the obvious.  
"Oh shut up Weasly, it not like you're going to die, at least, not today." Malfoy yelled.  
"Okay so the Dark lord is evil I take it?" Light stated, L had been unnaturaly quiet so far.  
"Yes! He kills muggles! Believes the world should be run by wizards and that muggles should be our slaves"  
Light fidgeted, he was a muggle, only reason he was here was he was chained to a wizard, hopefully L didn't reveal this fact, or else he would lose his upperhand of fear with Malfoy. Couldn't have that now could we?

"Light-kun and I should head back to the inn. I believe we will see eachother again at Hogwarts." L spoke up suddenly. He had crouched on the ground at some point during the conversation and was staring at his his bird intently. Light nodded, he would be glad to get away from the phsyco group in favour of leaving with the phsyco he was already used to. Besides it was getting close to lunch time, and he was hungry.  
Hermione, having more manners than anyone else in the group nodded with a quick "It was nice to meet you both." As they started to leave.

After the two were gone however Ron and Malfoy got back into that heated argument over whether Slytherin was the best or worst house. It lasted many long hours and neither side accomplished anything at all. But such was predictable and thus didn't deserve to be written as it was nothing but a "Did not" "Did too" type of argument.

"The "Dark Lord" could possibly be Kira." L mused out loud "But highly unlikely unless he has made any trips to Japan latley, and he does not seem to share Kira's ideals either." he paused ".07 chance." Light simply nodded,  
it was best not to argue with L. Coming back to the wall that had opened to allow them access to the alley L took out his wand (For those of you who thought of something other than a stick get your minds out of the gutter) and tapped the memorized sequence easily. Damn L and his photographic memory.

The man behind the counter at the inn/pub was still cleaning the same glass with the same dirty rag as earlier.  
L winced, he wasn't going to eat here anytime soon. Striding professionaly up to the counter, or as professionaly someone of his posture could anyway.  
"We need a room until the train leaves for Hogwarts." The man didn't even look up "Three galleons, last room on the right." Tossing the money carlessly, so carelessly it flung off the counter and hit Tom in the head causing him to drop the glass which in turn shattered, L turned to go up the stairs to the rooms. By now the entire pub was staring at them, but L being L didn't care. L 1, Tom 0. Light dully wondered if it would escalate into a rivalry while they were here. Tom did have that "plotting revenge" look going on right now.

Walking to the end of the hall the door on the right was already open. L lightly pushed it open with the very tips of his fingers. Ambling in quickly he placed Strawberry down on the table in the room and dropped everything else rather haphazardly next to him. Turning to survey the room; It was rather grey, the old flooring aged beyond recognition, a mirror stood in the corner beside a large canopy bed the table behind him being the only other furnishing. A window stood on the farthest side from the door. All in all it was a fairly plain dust room.

"Should we go get something to eat?" Before Light could answer however his stomach let out a loud growl.  
"Yes I believe we should go to a "muggle" store down the street, they seem to have more attention to hygiene than this place." L nodded, he saw what Tom used to clean that glass, what did he do to the plates? He didn't even want to ponder that question.  
"I shall also pick up some food for Strawberry while we are there." Light glanced at the bird "What did he say it ate again?" He didn't want the bird to starve to death, paralyzing bird poop could come in handy,  
ecspecially on little boys with blonde hair. God he hated that kid.

" The man said "just about anything thrown it's way" so I shall have to experiment." Light rolled his eyes,  
the bird would end up a sugar addict too. Great, just great. They departed the inn with a few heated glares from Tom who was now infront of the pile of glass turning it back into a cup again with his wand. But as before L either didn't notice or didn't care. Light was betting it was the latter, L was a very observant person.

"How about that one?" Light looked to where L was pointing, a bright pink sign with curly letters declaring 'Sweet Temptations' and rolled his eye's. Just like L to find the one sweet shop on the street. But he wasn't about to argue, he was hungry after all. He nodded and they ambled their way through the clamouring crowd.  
Looks like Light was right, L was getting sweets for Strawberry. The store was as pink on the inside as it was on the out. Cakes lining the front while sweets lined every other wall. He knew they would make a few trips here while staying at the inn.

Sitting down at the table closest to them attracting as little attention as possible they each half-heartedly flipped through the menus. Light was gratefull there was at least some normal food, a few salads and varieties of french frys is what he'd be surviving on until they left for Hogwarts. L on the other hand looked like he was considering buying everything BUT the salads and french frys, instead going for everything with a high enough sugar count to cause a normal person to be grounded with a stomach ache and gain at least ten pounds.  
Okay that was a over exageration on Light part, but seriously no wonder the guy never slept, he was stuck on a permanent sugar high.

"What can I get you?" A cheerfull waitress had bounded over to them notepad poised at the ready "Three slices of strawberry cheese cake and one salad, Light-kun?" L looked over to Light to signify he had finished his order, but Light was grounded by the fact that **THE** L had ordered a salad. It was a sure sign of the coming apocolypse. Wow, Light **WAS** really over exagerating today.  
"The salad is for Strawberry Light-kun." Ah, all was right again, Light could stop thinking about the end of the world.  
"Ah yes a salad for me too please." The waitress happily bounded away, was she sugar high too? Wouldn't doubt it in a place like this.

"So what do you hope to learn at Hogwarts?" Light asked when the silence became to akward. It would have been fine if L wasn't staring straight at him, analyzing his every move. It did get creepy after awhile.  
L shrugged "It should be a interesting experience." L put his thumb to his mouth "Of course I'll still be working on the Kira case while there. That reminds me, I must tell Watari to expect Strawberry with case fills and reports." L flipped out his cell phone again, number one speed dial.  
"Hello Watari? Yes it is me." He paused listening to the other line "I called to tell you to expect a colorfull bird delivering case reports for me. Leave a window open for it.  
You may send things back with it as well. Also I will include what the bird eats, if you'd give it a snack before sending it off." He paused again "Yes, thank you." and hung up.

"You using your bird to send case reports? What if it poops on some random person while traveling? Or worse yet, it poops on a member of the task force? They'll be paralyzed!" L rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip "I'll warn the task force about that before I send something. I'm sure there's a antidote for it aswell anyway"  
Light shook his head, L probally didn't care if his bird paralyzed anyone in the name of justice. Yeah that's justice alright.  
What goes on in that guys head?

Light was taken out of his musing when the waitress returned, cakes and salads in hand.  
"That'll be $26.97." L handed her a fifty dollar bill and waved her off, entranced by his favourite food.  
"Keep the change." He stated picking up his fork.  
"Thanks!" The bubbly girl bounced off even more cheerfully than before.  
Light looked back around the shop, as inevitable when chained to another person, people were staring.  
It was very uncomfortable. Taking bites of his salad while being stared at by so many people made him feel like he was sitting there insanely writing in a black note book with over-the-top gestures while laughing rabidly. Wait, again, what?  
Why the hell would he do that? Light shook his head, stress must be getting to him.

"Could we go back and eat at the inn?" He asked L, who was on his second peice of cheesecake already, saving the other for Strawberry.  
He nodded and they stood up leaving the store without a second glance. L had stuffed the rest of his cake in his mouth, now only carrieing one other piece and a salad. Upon entering the inn they got a even more heated glare from the usually nice Tom, most likely because they had eaten somwhere else. Which L ignored, again. Letting out a pleasant "Hello Tom!" As they passed. L didn't like the barkeep for some unfathomable reson, much like Light disliked Malfoy. Funny how that works.

Entering the room they were shocked to see a tall hooded figure with black robes dragging along the floor. He immediatly turned to them,  
face obscured by a skeletal silver mask. Whoever they were quickly drew a wand, and L, having his hands full did the only thing he could think of. He threw the cake in the mans face. Which, apparently, knocked him off gaurd and the hooded guy stumbled backwards, and towards the window.  
Uh-oh one more step and **CRASH!  
**Light winced as the cake faced man fell out of the second story window, that had to hurt. They both rushed over and looked out of the shattered pane, apparently the man was fine, he had stood back up and was staring up at the window. Then in a sudden 'Poof!' he was gone.

"Well," L started "That was a waste of perfectly good cake." Light stared. He was about to reply when behind them appeared a very angry Tom, a fairly nasty looking vein bulging out on his neck.  
"What the hell are you two doing?" L looked over too him calmly "We just finished throwing cake at a masked man who aimed his wand at us, he fell out the window." How could he say that with a straight face?  
when you said it that way it sounded like a complete lie.  
"What kind of mask was he wearing?" Tom no longer looked angry, but scared. He believed L?  
"Looked like a skull, it was silver." Light supplied. The man looked even more scared "That's it! You two get out! Find a different inn! I will not have you attracting death eaters and breaking glasses anymore! You can have a refund and then get out!" Wow this man was having a spazz attack, you'd think he was a criminal standing ten feet away from Kira. Well one out of two (or was it two out of two?)  
ain't bad.

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**A/N: Ha ha, poor Tom. Believe it or not Strawberry does have a actuall use. But you'll have to wait to see it. I used wikipedia to find all the weird creatures at the pet store. It was quite fun trying to imagine what a chicken-lizard looked like. Wonder why there was a death eater in their room? How will the Kira case go with L at Hogwarts? How smart is that dang bird really? Thanks for reading!**


	3. Mirror Mirror?

**A/N: Well here we go again, your daily serving of Death Note/Harry Potter CRACK. I think I have gone crazy, finding a way to connect the two. Well let's see how L and Light deal with being kicked out of The Leaky Cauldron,  
roped into stealing a cartoon-obsessed mirror,  
and what about the Death Note?**

**Death Wartz (Sounds really gross if you think about it)**

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Five minutes to pack. That all Tom had given them. Well the score now was** L 3**, **Tom 1**. L got another two points for breaking the window and getting cake everywhere, even if it was accidental. So now they had nowhere to go.  
Dang. Well angry inn keepers and crazy caked-in-the-face black hooded men aside, at least Strawberry seemed to like cake that had been smeared on the floor. Some of which L was feeding it at the moment. Yup a cake addicted bird was a fun bird indeed. The thing had looked at the salad then to the cake in L's hand, and decided cake was the better option. Light dully wondered if the bird would get fat from sharing L's sweets.

"Well I think it's time we take our leave Light-kun." L spoke suddenly blinking up from his cake covered hand.  
"No I don't think it is! You two just got here!" L and Light looked over to where the mirror stood, shocked, did it just talk?  
"Yes I am a enchanted mirror!" Then, at the confused looks they gave it, "Don't you watch disney? Snow white?  
Mirror mirror on the wall? Well I can't tell you who's the fairest of them all, but I can give you some tips"  
The talking mirror chirrped happily, appearently it was a male mirror, judging by the voice. Whatever that meant to a mirror.

"Can you tell us why that man was in here?" L asked the mirror "Oh that guy? God, that mask was so tacky! Skulls are so last season. But yes I know why he was here, he spoke to himself quite alot." The mirror informed them.  
"Well can you tell us?" Light asked "Yes, but for a price. I want you to take me with you." The mirror finished, take it with them? How would they do that? The thing was at least five feet tall!  
"Fine," said L agreeing "why was he here?" The mirror tutted "Nuh-uh, not untill I am safley out of the building with you, it gets quite boring in this room, I need a adventure!"

So new dilema, How do you steal a five foot tall mirror with no one noticing?  
You don't. So L and Light were stuck. Damn.  
Well, there was always the window. Which L was eyeing already, crap.  
You know what that meant? They were going out the window. It wasn't a large fall from the window to the ground,  
but it would still shatter the mirror. Seven years bad luck was not what Light needed. Alas, L didn't care what Light's needs were.

"Light-kun shall go first, we're going out the window. I will take off the handcuffs for as long as it takes to get down safely. You will take the mirror with you. I will follow with everything else and on ground level we'll re-cuff." The clinking of metal was heard and the weight on his wrist Light had grown accustomed to was gone.

Nodding he ran over to the mirror hoisting it up roughly "Easy there cowboy!" The mirror yelled Light ignored the vanity object and continued back towards the broken window.  
"Ooooh chains, kinky. Do you two swing that way?" Resisting the urge to throw the thing out the window, he turned around, feet first avoiding glass as best he could. The mirror just wouldn't shut up.  
"Okay scince you two aren't talking I'll just have too- **HOLY COW**! That's a large jump, maybe we should take the door?" The mirror finally shut up again as Light took another step out of the building, inching his way down the rickety side of the building, glad for the broken wood jutting out as makeshift foot and hand holds.

The muggles around him thankfully counldn't see him either, they went about their daily lives unaware of the now two dangling men, bird, and talking mirror. If they could be seen they'd be on their way to a insane asylum, most likely. Strawberry crowed uncomfortably, causing random people to look to where the sound had come from. Light held his breath, that meant they could hear them. If that mirror-  
"This is the most fun I've ever had! Well this and when I got to watch the muggle cartoon channel on a TV!" The mirror yelled causing muggles to stop and stare. So that's where it learned about Snow White.  
"Shut up!" Light whispered back.  
"Well fine!" The mirror said, all-too-loudly. But, seeing nothing, people continued walking forgeting about the odd occurence.

He was relieved when his foot hit solid ground. Not so relived when he heard the clink of metal around his wrist.  
"Well?" L asked the mirror expectantly.  
"Oh right! The hooded guy! Well you see, he's what's known as a death eater! They're followers of the Dark Lord!  
He came into the room a few minutes after you left. He mumbled something about a detective but I couln't really hear it. Anyway he was looking through your stuff for something called a "_laptop_" for "_case files_" isn't that odd?" The mirror finished. L and Light looked at eachother, did someone know who L was? L hadn't brought his laptop with him. He had everything memorized anyway, and Watari at the ready to alert him of anything new.

"Hello? Earth to Shaggy and Scooby-doo! Did ya find a clue or something?" The cartoon loving, fashion-ista mirror yelled out at the lack of response. Still being ignored it huffed.  
"If someone knows who I am I think it will be imparitive we leave for Hogwarts right away. I believe it will be the safest place for now. The headquarters isn't imune to magical intrusion"  
Light nodded, how could anyone figure out who L was? He sure didn't **LOOK** like a world renowned detective.  
Then again he didn't** look** like a mass murderer. What? Thats because he wasn't! His mind rejected that thought again. (Giving up the Death Note and losing a chunk of your memories was bound to have _some_ residual side effects.)

"Well then! You should use that fancy bird of your's to letter the headmaster! I'm sure he'll understand why we're in need of his protection!" The mirror called dreamily "I've always wanted to go to Hogwarts!" It added.  
"Who said you'd be coming with us?" Light was more appauled at the thought of living with the mirror then he was when he was at the thought of living_ AND_ being chained to L when it had happend. The mirror was just annoying, and they had known it, what, three minutes?

"Well I'm a great source of information for two clueless men." The mirror seemed like it though that was enough to get them to agree.  
"But we can get the same information from any normal wizard." L countered  
"Ah Shaggy, thats true, but can you trust them to keep their traps shut about it? Wouldn't want anyone knowing Scooby over there is a muggle, Hmm?" The mirror, apparently deciding their nicknames were Shaggy and Scooby, had a point.  
"How?" Light asked "You have no wand, pet, robes, et cetera, et cetera, and, you just told me." It finished smugly.

"Fine, we shall take Mr. mirror with us on one condition," L started "He must not reveal the fact that Light is a muggle to anyone." Light sighed, thankfull. He didn't want no Dark Lord killing him because he wasn't magical. He still had to become god of the new world. Where are these random thoughts coming from? Maybe I am Kira and just don't know it. No! Even thinking that could give L another upperhand. Luckily he was drawn out of his thoughts when the trio from earlier decided to drop on in.

"Hey it's you guys again! What are you doing with a mirror?" One of them called

"Ron that's rude!" Hermione scolded although she was eyeing the mirror too "Oh Scooby and Shaggy here had to get me out of there! A death eater came after Shaggy for a reson involving detectives, and only Scooby knows what it is!" The mirror interjected. Silence filled the alley way as the two groups stared at eachother.  
"Hey you're Harry Potter aren't you!" The mirror spoke again "I'd never thought I'd meet you! Wow what an adventure!" Harry looked annoyed, Light noted curiously

"With all the stuff the ministy and prophet are spewing you think you wouldn't show your face around here! But to let you know,  
I'm on your side! Why are you here anyway?" Ron spoke up instead "We're here to get cleaning supplies for the headq-oomph" He was interupted by Hermione, who had elbowed him in the ribs.  
"Ron!" More silence. Akward silence. Neither group wanting to tell anything to the other. But whenever there's silence,  
something breaks it. In this case it was the death eater from earlier, and he brought friends.  
"Wow my day keeps getting better!" The mirror yelled, sadly it was about to get worse for the mirror, as it had scared one of the death eaters, who had just shot a curse at it.

All groups watched shocked as the poor thing started to melt away...

"I'm melting! Noooo! I'm melt-blublegurgle" into a giant pile of metalic slush.  
Well Light was actually glad to be rid of the damn thing but still, _ouch_.  
The death eaters had raised their wands again, this time at Light when a cheerfull tune rang out.  
Everyone stared at L, who had taken out his cell phone,  
"Yes? Watari? Hmm, yes I see. I'll phone back latter with orders. I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment. No I am surrounded by hooded men. No they are not. What? About four of them. Ok Watari. It's real? Well then fly it over here, We'll meet up somewhere. No we were kicked out of the inn. I'll explain when you get here. Goodbye." He hung up turning to Light "They caught him, but he died, they have what he used, Watari is coming." He explained, efficiently confusing everyone but Light.

"What the hell does that mean?" One of the masked men yelled.  
"It means that my great uncle just died, he comitted suicide right after they caught him, he used sleeping pills. He was a rapist, but extremly rich. They found his will and are flying it over here as I am his only living relative." L lied smoothly. If Light didn't know what had happened he would have believed it himself. "Your great uncle was a sick man. Now that that's over with, let's get down to buisness detective." Wow these guy's were stupid, none of them noticed the other three: Harry, Ron, and Hermione had snuck away while the death eaters were occupied with L's phone conversation. Afformentioned trio now shooting curses such as "Stupefy!" Which Light thought were rather pointless, the men were stupid enough already. Wait, if L learned how to stupefy did that mean he could make Light stupid? Like Misa? Oh god, Light shuddered at the thought.

Apparently the stupefy thing stunned the men. Probally making them stupider as well, but that's not the point. It was the perfect time to run, and they did just that. Turning sharply around the corner the group of five humans and one bird was faced with the brick entry to Diagon Alley. Tapping like a woodpecker L opened the entrance back up for the third time that day, in what had to be a wizard-world record. Running through the wall the five odd-balls were stared at like they had grown sixteen heads and were all joined together. Or something equally obscure and odd.  
"Hey it's Harry Potter!" Some one called out and all hell broke loose. Giant mob infront of them, four crazy hooded dudes behind, they were trapped.  
This day just kept getting better and better. Not.

"Okay on the count of three, run" Harry supplied their plan, and Ron and Hermione nodded.

"One" The ravenous crowd took a step closer.  
"Two" The look in their eyes.  
"Three!" Running like bats out of hell they bulldozed the crowd, literally and figuratively. The chain between L and Light knocking over anyone unfortunate enough to stand in between the two running men. Turning into a dark alley way that was mostly abandoned and into one of the dark looking shop. The group simutaneously let out a sigh as the crowd passed. Apparently the store was closed being as there was no cashier. Grosteque dried hands stood on wooden pedestals, dangling knifes hung from thin air infront of the dirty windows. It looked like some sadistic, morbid, demented cult's hide out.

"Why were the death eaters after you?" Ron gasped out, clutching a shelf beside him for support.  
L simply shrugged

"They said something about you being a detective, and come to thing of it that mirror called you "Shaggy", a fictional muggle detective. So they must want something to do with that." Hermione observed panting  
"They wanted case files, I do not have any with me at the moment so it doesn't really matter." L replied vaugely.  
"What kind of case is this mass murder case exactly?" Harry spoke up. L sighed, best tell them the truth, they don't seem like the kind who'd use it against them.

"The case I'm working on is known widley as the Kira case," He started, earning a light gasp from Harry and Hermione, Ron was clueless though, living with his wizarding family he knew nothing of muggle troubles.  
"I asume they believe I know how Kira kills, and are trying to find out. I do not know for sure but from the phone call I recieved the weapon Kira uses is now in our custody back at headquarters, one of them anyway." He finished. Hermione looked up  
"Are you the lead detective?" She asked, L nodded. "But that makes you L!" She stood shocked.  
"Who's L?" Ron asked, poor poor clueless Ron.  
"The worlds number one detective! Assumed to be a muggle though. So that means the guy next to you is suspected of being Kira?" Ron looked confused still.  
L nodded

"He has just been relieved of most suspision, but not totaly cleared. But as such I do not believe we need these any more." L finished, unlocking his cuff then tossing Light the key. "You're free to go back out of the alley now, I'll escort you back, you'll have to wait for Watari to arrive sometime tomorrow to take a flight back to Japan."  
Light shook his head "Nope, I know as soon as I leave you'll find some other way to connect me to Kira and then it's back to square one. Nope I'm sticking with you until I'm completly cleared." Light said stubbornly.

L smiled "Very well, I admire you determination. Watari will be arriving, if all goes smoothly, around noon tomorrow, bringing with him the tool Higuchi used to kill as a Kira." Light nodded "So it was Higuchi, Did he say what it was?" L glanced at the entranced trio "He said they found a black notebook, labeled "Death Note", upon touching it they could see a large creature who identified itself as a shinigami"  
Light's eyes widened  
"What's a Shity-gami?" Ron asked, mishearing.  
"Shinigami," L corrected "a god of death"  
"That's imposssible! No such thing exsists!" Hermione yelled

"Well we'll just have to see about that tomorrow. If you'll excuse us for the second time today, we need to go find new lodging for the night. The death eaters having got us kicked out of the last." Picking up their belongings and Strawberry they made for the door. Hermione called out "Wait! Maybe they can come back with us to the order? They can't be dark lord supporters!" She suggested "Well there's a fireplace over there," Ron pointed "We could call and find out"  
The trio walked towards the fireplace, and tossing some powder from one of their bags ignited a fire. Leaving a perplexed L and Light to watch.

"Hello Harry, what is it?" A face suddenly appeared in the fire. Was there a end to this madness? Next thing you know they'll be meeting Santa Claus at the North pole.  
The students recounted the story, introducing L and Light and asked if they could come stay at the Black's family home.  
"Ah, I totally understand Mr. Light, I am a suspected mass murderer as well, I was falsely sent to Azkaban. Of course you can bring them back with you.  
Be quick though dinner's almost ready and Ron's mother is getting worried." Black's face disappeared along with the flames.  
Harry turned back to L and Light "Well that settles it, you're coming back with us. Don't worry, the people there are really nice for the most part, just wait until you meet Fred and George."

Somehow Light had a feeling this wouldn't turn out well.  
There was just something about this whole situation that didn't feel right.  
Or maybe it was just gas.

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**A/N: Well another one bites the dust. Let's all have a moment of silence for the poor mirror... Okay so anyway L and Light are on their way to the Order of the pheonix's HQ (It takes place around book five) death eaters want to know what Kira kills with, and Watari's on his way with the Death Note. So is something bad going to happen? Or is it just gas? Thanks for reading!**


	4. Bad Feeling

**A/N: Hey! So L and Light are heading to the order of the pheonix's HQ. Light is having bad feelings about the whole thing. (It's probally just gas though.) and Watari is coming to England with the Death Note. Let's hope they survive.**

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Light stared. Harry had just informed them they'd be traveling via fireplace with something called floo powder.  
Things just keep getting wierder and wierder. Seriously next thing you know they'd be following a yellow brick road to see a great wizard who was really just a fraud. Or something like that. At least there were no more talking mirrors. Though he couldn't help feel the slightest bit bad for the thing, all it had wanted was an adventure.  
But innocents must be sacrificed in order to create his new world. He shook his head. He must be going crazy, all the insane people around him was finally taking it's toll.

"You just take the powder, stand in the fireplace, and clearly say "Number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London." and toss it." Hermione instructed. Then pointing at Light  
"You can go first." Light blinked, but took a step towards the fireplace that Black's face had been in moments before.  
Takeing a handfull of they grayish-green powder. He screwed his eyes shut, this would most likely be unpleasant.  
"Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, London." Toss.  
Nothing happened.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Ron sputtered, covered in the powder Light had just tossed.  
"Heh, bad aim?" Light had managed to cover every occupant in the room but himself the the acursed stuff.  
"Well scince you're incompetent, you'll just have to piggy-back with someone then." Hermione sneezed, the powder had gone up her nose.  
"Piggy back?" He sure hoped that wasn't what it sounded like. Ignoring the fact that she had called him incompetent.  
"Yeah, you'll have to grab onto one of us when we floo." She nodded "And scince you know him the best I'm saying you go with Ryuzaki." Ron added, he sure didn't want to ride with the suspected mass murderer.

"What?! No way am I "flooing" with Ryuzaki!" Light yelled indiginatly.  
"You just have to hold his sleeve or something! That or you can stay here!" Stay in this filthy place? No way! It smelt like something had died in here two weeks ago, and something probally had.  
"Fine." Light mumbled, crossing his arms like a petulant child.  
So Ryuzaki stepped into the fireplace, also taking a handfull of powder. He shifted Strawberry until he was sure he wouldn't let go. Allowing Light to grab his arm he stood up straighter than normal and called "Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, London." Toss.  
It was like the floor had opened up and swallowed them into a neverending pit of colors, all blurring together due to the speed they were being passed. Spiraling in circles and unable to tell what was up and what was down.

Light was just getting used to the feeling of it when they were spit out of another fireplace. Skidding to a halt L managed to stay standing. Light however had tripped face first and was now lying on the floor, staring at someone's shoes.  
"Ahah, You get used to floo travel after awhile." The owner of the shoes, and in turn, feet stated laughingly.  
Light got up quickly, eyeing the man infront of him.  
It was the same guy from the fireplace conversation earlier.  
"Sirius Black." The man held out his hand  
"Uh, Light Yagami." He took the hand and gave it a quick shake. What kind of name is Sirius?

"Ah so you would be the world's top detective then?" Sirius asked L  
"Yes, but call me Ryuzaki." L stated, he then looked to Sirius "You said you were a suspected mass murderer as well. Have they ever released your real name and photo to the public"  
Light rolled his eye's, they just got here and L was already interrogating the residents.  
"Ah, my photo, I believe that they broadcasted my image after I escaped, but my name was false, on the muggle televison anyway, everyone already knew it in the wizarding world." Black answered.  
"Ah, well you are very lucky then." L stated as Ron popped out of the fireplace behind them.

"Who's lucky?" The red head asked "Mr. Black here is, if his name had been released to the muggle population he would most likley be dead now"  
L explained. He continued  
"Kira is probally not a wizard then. Voldemort's precentage is down to 0.08." Hermione popped out next, still sneezeing.  
"Wasn't that Higuchi fellow Kira?" Ron asked "One of them." L explained as Harry popped out as well.  
"There are more of them?" L nodded, fishing deep in one of his pockets for one of the sweets he no doubt had stuffed in there. Retrieving two small wrapped chocolates he unwrapped them both, eating one and tossing the other into Strawberry's cage.

"Oh my! You're finally back! Just in time for dinner! Oh! Who are they?" A middle-aged woman had ran into the room. Fiery red hair matching that of Ron's.  
"Ryuzaki and Light, They were attacked by Death Eaters mum." Ron informed her.  
"Oh you poor dears! I'll go set two more places at the table!" She turned to leave when two voices rang out beside her  
"New guests at our humble headquarters?" One rang out, obviously related to Ron with their bright red hair.  
"This will be intresting!" The other rang out, he looked identical to the first.

They walked out towards the detective-and-murderer duo  
"I'm Fred." One said smiling brightly  
"No I'm Fred, He's George." The other twin said smiling aswell.  
"No he's George. I am Fred." The other confused the other occupant's further "Oh stop it you two!" The mother scolded.  
"Yes mum." The two laughed.

Smoke started to drift in from the doorway, along with the smell of something burning. The twins glanced at eachother,  
"The candy!" and took off. Leaving the room rather quickly.  
"Well why don't you all come to the dinning room? Dinner will be ready by now." The woman sighed after her twins.  
Everyone exept L agreed, as L wasn't intrested in any food that wasn't drenched in sugar or a certian type of delicious red friut. Banana's on the odd occasion.

Light still had gas, err, I mean a bad feeling about this all, and it was getting worse.  
They had all made their way into a room with a rather large table with chairs lining it neatly.  
Apparently the rest of the household, save for the twins, was here. Black took the oppurtunity to introduce them all.  
"Everyone this is Ryuzaki and Light. They'll be staying here until school at Hogwarts starts. Ryuzaki, Light this is Remus Lupin, he's a were-wolf, but harmless for the most part," The man Sirius had pointed to let out a snort at this.

"Tonks over there can change her appearence at will," The woman he'd pointed to had looked straight to L's eye's, smiled, and her own changed to mimic his dark grey iris's. Creeping both Light and L out. Alot.

"Severus Snape over there, teacher at Hogwarts." The man's oily black hair made L's unkempt style look fantastic in comparison.

"Arthur Weasly over there, works at the ministry. Married to Molly Weasly, whom you've met already. Kingsley, and Mad-eye Moody."

And Light thought L was strange. He seemed perfectly normal compared to this crazy bunch. At least Sirius was a bit normal, at least that was was Light thought until...

"Oh yeah, and I can turn into a dog too." Was no one sane in this world? Mrs. Weasly had left with some of the other's and had returned, now proceding to lower plates of food to the table with her wand.  
"There you go! Dig in everyone!" With another flick of her wand she sat two more seat's at the table.

L didn't even consider touching the food that had been sat before him. The rest however were digging in, after getting over the way L had sat when he joined the table they had proceeded to gouge themselves on food. He was curious though, the twins had not made another appearence yet. What did they mean by "the candy"? were they making some? L's stomach growled at the thought. Maybe he would go ask about it later. Popping another sweet from his pocket into his mouth. What harm could it cause?

Light's bad feeling was getting worse. It made him feel all jumpy. Something bad was coming, something really **REALLY** bad.  
He took another bite of the casserole they had been served for dinner.  
"Light, could you pass me the ketchup?" Ron asked through mouthfulls. Ketchup on casserole? Eww. But ignoreing how odd the request was Light leaned forward passing the bottle when a loud sound filled the air. Light's face turned bright red, so it **WAS** gas after all.  
"Excuse me!" He yelled slumping out of his normaly great posture. That wasn't god-like at all. He was so embarassed he didn't bother to ponder that thought. The silence stretched on, Light considered banging his head on the table.

L's lip's turned up into a small smile, before he let out a chuckle, then a laugh, soon it was full blown laughter. And much to Light's dismay everyone else joined in. Causing the teen to turn even darker red. Why him? However, the laughing insane people were shut up when the smell hit them.  
Oh man, that one was ripe. Just because he dealt it didn't excuse Light from smelling it either. Quickly covering their noses the room was evacuated.

"Man Light that was a good one!" Ron laughed, once safley out of the dinning room.  
Light, who was still red, groaned. L would never let him live this down.

Well at least the bad feeling was gone. But it would be hours until they could return to the dinning room.  
Lest they face that _smell_.  
Why _me_? Light thought.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N: So it WAS just gas, lol. Now that they are at the order what will L and Light get into? Will L get a piece of what the twins are making?  
Sorry about the chapter being shorter than usuall, I can't write as much on weekdays and just wanted to get everyone introduced.  
Thanks for reading!**


	5. Candy and Kira

**A/N: Hey it's me and my insanity again! Light no longer has gas, but is convinced he's going crazy,  
random thoughts of new worlds and being a god and all that.  
Enjoy!**

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After the whole mega-super-fart incident Light had gone off upstairs to sulk in self-pity and embarassment. And did so until he ran into the twins Fred and George, the only ones who weren't there to witness his breaking-wind, making some kind of candy. Better keep L away.

"Yeah, we should make some that can cause green warts to appear and induce vomitting!" Fred, or was it George? Nodded.  
"Oi, that's a good one, we should also make one that gives the symptoms of the chicken-pox!" The other agreed.  
The red head on the right turned suddenly, and upon seeing Light, smiled.

"Oh look who it is! Our guinea pig has arrived!" The other turned and smiled  
"Would you like some candy? We'll pay you to try it!" Light shook his head violently, no way was he being some lab rat.  
"Oh come on! We'll do anything for someone to test out our skiving snackboxes! Anyone!" Anyone? Light smiled  
"You said it was candy right?" The twins nodded  
"Yeah, it's candy designed to get kids out of class, they eat one end and experience certian symptoms, eat the other and they're fine!" One explained.

This gave Light a very nasty idea, L would pay for laughing at him. He would pay! His grin grew larger.  
"You give me some of that candy and I'll get someone to test it for you." The twins smiled  
"Agreed!" Then they looked at eachother and back to Light  
"But who?" Light smiled  
"I happen to know that Ryuzaki just loves candy, he'll gladly take any you offer." Appearently the twins had no problems with giving L sickness inducing candy, and they plotted how they would bring it up.

Light went back down stairs feeling better, knowing that whatever the twins gave L would be sure to have nasty side-effects. The group of crazies, as Light liked to call them in his head, had calmed down and was now chatting about various subjects. Mr. Weasly was in a in-depth discussion with L on how muggle airplanes flew. Light decided he would join them.

"- lift generated by the foward motion." L had finished saying and Mr. Weasly nodded.  
"Fascinating, how did muggles figure that out?" Light took this chance to interupt  
"Excuse me, but I'd like to talk to Ryuzaki for a second." Mr. Weasly nodded  
"I'll go see if the dinning room is fit for human survival again." And before Light could reply he was gone.

"What is it Light-kun?" Light twitched at the barley-veiled amusement in the question.  
"The twins are making some kind of candy. They sent me to ask if you wanted some." It was the truth after all.  
L's eye's lit up at the mention of free candy and he nodded.  
"That sounds agreeable." Light started to lead the way and L followed up the stairs and into the room where the twins were waiting.

"Hey! Light told us you liked candy, so we figured you could try out our homemade stuff and tell us if it's any good!" George (or Fred?) told L, holding out a peice of stick shaped candy. L accepted it happily and was about to take a bite when his cell phone went off again. Carefull not to let their dissapointment show, Light and the twins listened to the conversation they could only hear half of.

"Watari? What is it? Yes that's fine. I'm sure Light would like to see her anyway. Goodbye"  
Light frooze, he hoped that didn't mean.  
"Misa stowed away on the helicopter, she's on her way with Watari." L spoke calmly, he stuffed the stick candy in his pocket and turned to leave  
"Thanks for the candy, I'll try it later. I must go inform everyone about the extra visitor." And he left, probally completely forgeting about the sweets.

"Who's Misa?" One of the twins asked.  
"My girlfriend" Light twitched, he just now realized how much quieter it was without Misa around, crazy hooded men,  
talking mirrors and all.  
"You don't seem too happy about that?" It was more of a statement than a question.  
"I'm going to go now." Light ignored the statement/question in favour of stalking off to a dark corner where nobody would bother him for the rest of the day. Not only did he fart infront of a large number of people, but he failed to exact revenge on L and now Misa was coming! Why him?

Not all was lost! L still had the candy in his pocket, he would eat it later! As for Misa, he would cross that bridge when he got there. Light nodded to himself, yes it would be just fine. So for the rest of the day he watched L, he didn't want to miss the moment he ate the candy.

It was later in the night, most of the house's occupants had turned in. Save for L who was eating the mints had placed on the table to fuel his 24/7 sugar high. He wanted cake, but didn't think it would be polite to go rummage for one. So he would wait it out until morning. Why couldn't anyone else stay up all night like he did? He could at least have someone to talk to then.  
Maybe he would meet such a person at Hogwarts.

Morning came slowly, but L occupied himself with the thought that Watari would be there soon, undoubtedly he would bring cake. Watari always brought cake. L fiddled absently with the mint bowl, which he had completly wiped out, counting as he went. There had been 56 mints in it, barley even enough to keep L's sugar levels up. Cake was just what he needed. A strawberry on top would be nice too.

L noted the times people got up, The twins got up at six in the morning to do some kind of mischeif, Oily-haired Snape at the same time along with Mad-eye, Mr. and Mrs. Weasly followed at seven, with Tonks, Lupin, and Sirius, then at seven thirty was the trio of Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Light got up at eight, he loved his "beauty" sleep, and now, not being chained to L, he could get it!

It was then, with everyone up and walking hazily around, that L's phone rang again.  
"Hello? Okay, that's fine. Okay, yes. Got it. I'll meet you there." Everyone stared waiting for L to elaborate.  
"He's landed here in London, he's at a hotel close to this location." L explained "How does he know where we are?" asked  
"There is a tracking device in my phone. Security precaution"  
"Muggles can do that?" L nodded  
"Muggles can do alot of things."

So here they were, six of them jammed into a flying car. L, Light, Mr. Weasly , and scince they insisted on coming: Harry, Ron, and Hermione.  
Light was scared to look out the window, they were hundreds of feet above ground and the doors wern't even locked. L however was looking out of the window intenlty, no doubt trying to explain how it worked in his own head. Watari had given L instructions to the hotel, which he had relayed to Mr. Weasly .

"There it is." L pointed out the hotel, dark black helicopter parked on the roof.  
"Here we go." slammed the car forward suddenly causing a queasy feeling in Light stomach. The roof was coming too quickly for his taste.  
Too late now, the wheels of the car bumped roughly against the concrete, skidding to a halt next to the helicopter.  
Light let out a short breath, they survived!

"The door was left unlocked for us, Watari and Misa are waiting in room 673 on the last floor under us, the closest one to where we will come out"  
L stated, already stepping out of the car. Light was glad to be out of the death trap. They however didn't have to wait to get into the building to see Misa and Watari. They had come out right as the group was making their way to the door.

"Light! Misa-Misa has missed you sooo much!" The blonde yelled, jumping onto the poor teen.  
"Master Ryuzaki" Watari nodded politely  
"Whoa dude, you have a butler?" Ron asked, again jumping to conclusions.  
"No Watari is not my butler." Not caring to talk more on the subject he asked  
"Where is this "Death Note" you found?" Watari pointed back to the door they had come out of  
"In the room, secure in a six inch thick titanium safe." L nodded approvingly

Light couldn't breath, Misa was glomping him THAT hard. It hurt.  
"Misa ca-can't br-e-ath" he gasped out  
"Oh Misa's sorry!" Misa yelled getting off.  
Light looked back to L, his eyes widened, L had the candy from earlier in his hand, and was taking a bite of it.  
Uh oh.  
Misa turned to L  
"Oh Ryuzaki!" She called, skipping over infront of him, not noticing the sudden look of discomfort on his face,  
"Misa-Misa forgot about you! not that I don't like you or anything! Misa ju-" She was cut off as L suddenly leaned foward and heaved up all the mints, chocolates, and cake he had eaten yesterday, all over her dress.

"_Eeeeeewwwww_! Ryuzaki that's so _mean_! And _gross_!" She screamed, but it didn't stop there, L heaved again, all over her shoes this time.  
"_Gyah!_"  
"Eat the other side!" Light called out, it **WAS** gross.  
L did at told, quickly stuffing the candy in his mouth between heaves. He instantly felt better.  
"Sorry Misa-san, The candy must have been designed to make the consumer have such a reaction." L glared at Light, oh he was up shit-creek without a paddle now, to put in in metaphorical terms.  
The five others stared wide-eyed at the seen, while L had managed to puke all over Misa, he did not get any on himself. Quite a feat.  
Misa was crying, trying to hug Light for comfort, but Light didn't want L-puke all over him too.

"Come on Misa, let's get you cleaned up." They all followed into the building and into a lavishly furnished room.  
Misa ran into the bathroom quicker than you could say "I'm not Kira!". Who could blame her? What would **YOU** do if you had 56 mints, some chocolate,  
and cake that had been mostly digested, thrown up all over you?

But L cared about Misa's need's as much as he cared about Light's.  
"So upon touching the Death Note we'll be able to see a shinigami?" Watari nodded, he was already opening the safe and withdrawing a black notebook.  
Light had a strange feeling, like he wanted to grab the book and rid the world of all evil and badness-ness, wait, was badness-nees a word? No, Light shook his head, it wasn't. He had gotten used to the random thoughts, but he wouldn't let himself use words that didn't exist, even in his head.

"Here." Watari passed L the book, who had taken it between his thumb and forefinger and was staring at a random spot on the wall  
"So shinigami do exist." L stared  
"What? Let me see!" Light grabbed the book and screamed, man that thing was **UGLY**, then he screamed again, for a totally different reason,  
he could remember everything, he was Kira, his new world, he was a god! The random thought's didn't seem so insane anymore. He would have grinned, but was stopped when Ron spoke up,  
"Man, you scream like a _girl_!" He yelled covering his ears.

Light frowned, held the hand with the Death Note in it back, before thwacking Ron on the head with it.  
"Ow!" Then Ron looked where the shinigami was, and screamed, even _girlier_ than Light.  
"Blimey, it's, it's, it's!" And fainted.  
No one can call Kira/Light girly.  
Even if he does spend two hours getting ready.

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**A/N: Poor Misa, she got puke'd. Oh noes! Light is all Kira-man again! What will happen now?**


	6. How Exactly?

**A/N: Hello again! Just to clear things up, I had to re-write this chapter because of a plot-hole. It just took forever because I got really busy (*cough*lazy*cough*). But I'm writing the next chapter now, and it will be up within the next two days.**

**_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Ron was still out like a light. The room was silent, exept for the sound of water running and Misa yelling "Eww! Ewwww!". Light still held the death note, but was too busy planning his next move. Good thing Higuchi had died. He at least didn't have to worry about that. How had that happened anyway? He decided to voice this question.

"Watari, you said Higuchi had died after you caught him, how did that happen?" L also looked intrested in the answer,  
but L was L, any thing that even hinted at evidence was gone over at least a dozen times in his head, examined and re-examined.  
"Uh, well," Watari was nervous about something, that didn't happen often. "Scince you weren't there to pilot the helicopter I had a pilot hired. I was occupied at the time because I didn't trust anyone else with my gun." His gun? Watari didn't shoot Higuchi did he?  
"And after capturing Higuchi, we put him in the helicopter, under my supervison. The pilot made a sharp turn, and, uh Higuchi wasn't belted in, and..." Watari trailed off, everyone in the room knew what happened.

"And he had a great fall, all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Higuchi back together again." Ron had woken up for the end of the conversation, but judging by the twisted version of a nursery rhyme, wasn't quite all-there yet.  
Watari nodded "That's one way to put it"  
L nodded, then looked at the shinigami again "So, what do you do?" The shinigami blinked, what kind of question was that?  
"Pardon?" L was about to answer when Hermione grabbed the notebook from Light, who got the distinct feeling he had just forgotten something.

"I don't belive it! The is no such thing as a god of dea-" She stopped, her eyes widening. Harry walked over to her slowly.  
"Hermione?" She shoved the book towards him "Look" was all she said.  
Now poor Mr. Weasly was the only one who could not see the death god who looked rather pissed right now. But then again she always looked pissed so that's not saying much.

And scince no-one was offering to let him see the book and monster, Mr. Weasly took matters into his own hands. He walked up and touched the death note.  
"Holy Merlin's pants!" It looked like a mutated vampire-mummy with earrings and face paint. Bloody hell as Ron would have put it.

"I meant," L started again, annoyed at being interuppted. "What do you do? Do you just follow the book around? Steal peoples souls?  
What is your purpose?" The death god looked thoughtfull "I follow the human who owns the death note if it is in the human world. I kill people once in a while to stay alive, yes"  
L continued his questioning "What is a shinigami's purpose then? Surley not just killing humans to stay alive?"

The sinigami's eyes widened at L for a second. Then after a moment of silence "I don't know." L nodded, not caring that he had just thrown Rem into a confusion about the meaning of life, and asked another question.  
"Who own's the death note now then?" Rem was looking at the floor, deep in thought. But pointed at Watari absently.  
"Watari?" Even Watari was shocked. The shinigami nodded "He picked up the death note first after Higuchi had died. I have to follow him now until he dies or gives up ownership." The shinigami explained.

Light twitched, he didn't know why but he felt that the notebook should belong to him.  
The shinigami wandered off through the nearest wall, pondering the meaning of existince and trying to find a purpose of life for shinigami's.  
"What do we do now?" Ron spoke up again. L shrugged "We go back. Watari will keep the death note secure with him. Also Watari will come with us to Hogwarts." L decided.  
"Why is Watari coming to Hogwarts?" Light asked, he didn't want to see oldie anymore than he had to.  
"As owner of the death note he might be a target of the death eaters, we don't know yet what they know." Light sighed, no getting out of this one.

"And, Light, don't think I've already forgotten about the candy." Damnit. L was plotting revenge, and when a genius plotted revenge they usually got it. Light didn't have time to wonder what L would do to him, because Misa took that moment to come out of the bathroom.

"Gah! Ryuzaki! You stained my brand new outfit!" She cried. She was right about it staining, the poor dress and shoes would never be the same. L just shrugged "I couldn't have predicted the candy would have such side-effects." He walked over to Harry and took the death note from him.  
"Well I'm going out to buy a new outfit!" No one responded to this, so she huffed and left the room angrilly.

"So, what now?" Ron had regained his wits again and was now sitting up from the spot on the floor he had fallen.  
"We're going to have to bring the death note to your headquarters, scince it is magically protected." Ron nodded  
"Yeah, killer notebook, god of death. I remember now. Bloody hell that thing was ugly." Light agreed whole-heartedly.  
"Were did it go anyway?" Hermione asked, the shinigami still hadn't returned.  
"I'm sure it will return later. Let's go back to Grimmauld place." L had already started walking towards the door,  
and the rest followed. Neglecting to pay the hotel bill, and forgetting about Misa.

They had all packed into the car, which was very uncomfortable, and Light had to sit on the floor to make it work.  
They would have taken the helicopter, but it was a very noisy and noticeable vehicle. Plus the flying car could turn invisible. L was considering buying a flying car sometime durning his stay in the wizarding world. It did seem rather usefull.

Light was wondering what he had forgotten, it seemed like a chunk of his memory was gone.  
"So," Mr. Weasly stated, trying to break the silence. "Hogwarts just suddenly sent you a letter of acceptance Ryuzaki?"  
"No, not just suddenly, they've been sending me letters scince I was eleven. I just ignored them in favour of becoming a detective." L explained. The car was quiet again.

"I think we've forgotten something." Ron said suddenly, almost at their destination.  
"I have that feeling too, what do you think it is?" Hermione asked. Ron shugged.  
"Dunno."

**Meanwhile with Misa**

"Hello? Misa-Misa got a new outfit! Hello?" She stood in the middle of the deserted hotel room.  
"Oh hello" She turned around, it was the room service guy.  
"Your friends skipped out, so you'll have to pay the bill." He said handing over the list of expenses.  
She took one look at it and paled _"WHAT?"_

**Back to Grimmauld**

"Hey! Did you try the candy yet?" George asked L, who glared at both twins, giving the answer non-verbally.  
"Yes! It worked! Hey, who's the old guy?" Fred asked. The entire household was again surrounding the group.  
"Watari." The 'old guy' answered  
"Watery? Strange name. Not as strange as You-Know-Who's mind you." Watari twitched at the mistake and corrected them.  
"It's Watari. Who is You-Know-Who?" In the rush they had not told Watari about the dark lord, whoops.  
"The guy who leads the black hooded men with creepy masks." Light supplied, glancing over his shoulder at L,  
who was now glaring at him.

"I've got it!" Everyone stared at Ron, who had just suddenly yelled  
"Got what?" Harry asked "What we forgot! We didn't pay the hotel bill!" The group nodded, no one feeling like they forgot anything anymore.  
Exept Light, who felt like he was missing something very important.  
"Oh well. They can consider it payment for me solving the hotel massacre case four years ago." Everyone stared at L,  
hotel massacre?

"It was the janitor, with a staple gun, in the hotel rooms." L stated matter-of-factly.  
"Sounds horrible." Hermione stared wide-eyed.  
L nodded "He murdered his victims in the most peculiar ways too, he would take the staple gun and-"  
**"WE DON"T NEED TO HEAR ANY MORE!"** Ron screamed, covering his ears.  
"I agree." Light nodded, the staple-gun-massacre was another story, for another time.

L shrugged "I suggest we have something to eat then. It is nearing noon. Are there any sweets around I can feed my bird?"  
"Well there was a bowl of mints on the table last night, but they seem to have disappered. So I suppose some cake will have to do"  
Mrs. Weasly suggested. L perked up at the mention of cake, scince Watari had, in-fact, not brought any.  
"That will do." He nodded.

The week went by with Light wondering what he had forgotten in the hotel room, and L planning revenge. Watari just stood in the background, silenty observing,  
and creeping everyone out. As predicted the shinigami had returned from it's pondering of the meaning of life, and Harry and Hermione had to explain to the others why Ron kept screaming at random points of the day. The twins kept asking L to tell them what exactly the janitor had done with the staple gun, but he was still to mad at them to oblige.

**Back to Misa**

The room service guy had kicked her out when she had told him she couldn't pay a week ago. She was now living in a run-down hotel while working at a fast-food restraunt. Where were the loaded detectives when you needed them?  
Plus the fast food restraunt had this creepy janitor, who liked to carry a staple gun and walked around muttering about getting revenge on the one who put him away.  
Like she thought,  
_Creepy._

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**A/N: Yay! Next chapter they head to Hogwarts! Sorry for everyone who thought I gave up on this story D8 And for those who are waiting for a new chapter and only get a re-write! T.T I'm working on it!**


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